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I Can't Avoid Myself

by aches

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1.
Lack 04:00
your slowly decomposing into forms i can't relate to, your face is slowly warping; i can't help you anymore. should we light a smoke and paint the clouds? should we get fucked up and scream too loud about the shit we don't know shit about? if only we thought more than ran our mouths… you start talking after they turn their backs "elementary! you're craving what you lack!" personable people, they say they wish for death: you can't help but smile. it's a happy coincidence. it's a final and pathetic move, to see whether you win or lose, your pride is just not right (justified). (your egotism makes me wanna die). save your sleep, for when your dead, save your thoughts for the voice in your head. tears run circles, laughs run squares; excited by your eyes but you don't care. left in a nervous perpetuating state clinging to my sadness and all of my self-hate wishing for no one (to feel) this crushing lack of purpose. now i can't feel anything but worthless.
2.
i’m doubting if I’m making choices for my soul. because they all love it when i hide beneath my tiny folds of a polyester blanket covering my toes. it always takes long to warm up. my default is “too cold.” take your hands out from under me you’re not going to feel this for much longer. its not my fault i don’t care my brain just tends to wander my heart just tends to wander too. i can’t see anything good about this, cause i don’t want to hurt you anymore. i tell you straight to try to minimize the pain. your face distorts and makes me want to run away behind a giant mountain just to hide my shame... and in the long run i don’t think you’d like me anyway. i am nothing, i can’t complete you. i did this for you. i can’t see anything good about this, cause i don’t want to hurt you anymore.
3.
Shoelaces 03:48
i see whats in your head. i know what you will be thinking next. i can turn your guilt into regret, but honestly, i’m pretty sure a night alone in your bedroom could do that. i can break your concentration, manipulate your motivation; i can make you feel like the ”average” human doesn’t care that much in retrospect and that no matter the height the world still feels too flat. the grays keep calling back. it’s hard not to be sad when you’re all that i have. tie your shoes together and tell your friends and enemies that all you have the skill do is stand. they’ll still try to take you out to happy places, where all the people’s legs are independent from subconscious laces. i can’t snip them with my scissors, make em feel bad or lose interest. i can’t rip them off like velcro or throw them out tomorrow. nothing’s ever as good as it seems… well, life makes life seem like a real bad dream.
4.
Socks 02:08
take me off like wet socks after walking through a nasty storm. leave me damp in the foyer while you sit by a fire so warm. just your touch is enough. i could be alone but i'm not (and i'd rather not be) i am glad you stayed dry, i could be soaked and never mind. as long as you're here, as you're strong, and you're near, i'll be fine.

about

I never really wrote anything about the release of this EP when it came out because i wasn't sure how i wanted to phrase everything while not being superfluous. Here are the album notes, 3 months late:

Lack is about high school, girls, my mother being 0/3 when it comes to raising children right and the human race's penchant for creating artificial separation within itself.

Save You From is about being so confident in the fact that i'm always gonna fuck everything up that i end every relationship before it starts... and while I sit here lamenting my "inescapable" loneliness, being so fucking self-absorbed in thinking that what i'm doing is best for them, i completely disregard(ed) how they felt and moved on.

Shoelaces was originally called "Depression is Having Tied Together Shoelaces While Your Family, Friends, and Everyone You Know Runs Ahead of You Saying 'Hurry Up'" but while that title very neatly encapsulated the theme of the song, i felt like after Superman i needed a break from long titles. anyway it's about depression totally ruling over the way the mind operates, as well as people who, thank god, i've cut off contact with, doing nothing to really help.

Socks is about a girl and the idea of that girl being so perfect in my mind that in the moment of that idea's inception, i was ready to do anything to have that imaginary circumstance be true (including ending myself or dragging my dick thru a mile of glass etc.) but i decided the realization
of that fantasy being completely selfish wasn't a great subject for a song, so i decided to do something totally out of character and just make it a love song.

it is sincerely my dream for anyone anywhere to listen to these songs and take away anything. if you ever wanna let me know how you feel about these songs (or about anything) email me at achestheband@gmail.com and we can talk about whatever~

credits

released January 14, 2014

my name's griffin and on this EP i recorded all of the guitars, drums, bass, and vocals myself. i also did all of the mixing and mastering.

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aches Marlboro Township, New Jersey

Griffin Silver

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